Sunday, October 21, 2007

inFamous Yobster "Karl Bartos" Needs Held from Fellow Goons, Says inFamous YobBer "Karl Bartos"

Hello! This is Lamptree "Karl Bartos" Walldorf", inFamous yobster and blogger. I'm here to call upon my fellow goonkin to help me out of a stressful situation. Unfortunately, as you may know, I have been permabanned. Yes, it's true. The Yob has been in an uproar over the rash decision by forum senior administrator Richard "Lowtax" Kayanka. I will be the first to say that while the decision was harsh, I will not argue with it.

You see goons... I was caught up in some dirty business. You have heard me preach about the terrors of trolling and fakeposting but something I overlooked was account sharing. Especially with atheistic youths. It is another pitfall of modern day internet forum membership. In short: Don't do it.

Now I call upon you, my fellow goonkin. I need help. There is no possible way i can continue to update you on the new you need here at byob blog if i am without access to the internet forum "byob". Will you help me? Buy me an account and you will be repaid in amazing threads, replies and blogging.

I will not plead. I will not beg. I only ask of you kindly.

Thank you
Karl Bartos

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

BYOB Blog Takes a Vacation

Hey, Bloggers and Blogger fans!! It's your blogger Buddy Lamphry "Karl Bartos" Walldolf here! I just wanted to drop a line all the way from the beachs of the Jersey Shore where I am on vacation with Baby Hobo, ByobBlob, Notagoon, and Byobz0r. We have been having just as much work time as leisure time! We have been discussing what direction we want the Byob Blog to go in as well as having some fun and taking in some of the last summer rays still catchable!

So far we have determined that while we may be talented and dedicated to what we do, we can't do it all alone! We need your help, Blog readers!!! We ask you to do your best to comment on Articles and give us feedback on where you think we, as the writers and editors of the blog should go in! We are a Blog/News Feed for the People! We wan't as much involvement as possible and want to provide you with the Byob news you need to improve the quality of your forums and blog experience!

Go ahead and, if you like, leave some comments and suggestions in the "comments" section of this update! But remember! Continue to do so to make this the highest quality blog out there that focuses on the the Forum's Community "Byob".

Well, thats all the time this pay by the minute computer has alloted me the 30 second buzzer is going off!!

So Remember, readers! Stay active in your Forum and Forum Blog community! It is the only way to make BYOB and Byob Blog the most entertaining and relia

Friday, August 31, 2007

Deceptive Alt Alert!

Hey folks! It's you're favourite indigent infant again: me, Baby Hobo! Anywho…just received some urgent information regarding an alt account that may not be who you think it is.

The account "babyducks." looks, for all intensive purposes, identical to the account held by the popular 'Yobber with the speech impediment that somehow also shows up in writing. Irregardless, I have it from a VERY reliable source, that this account is owned by none other than KARL BARTOS. You can avoid being fooled by looking for the full stop after the s in the username, or by checking the registration date (Karl registered this account yesterday, the 30th.)

Nice try Karl! But us 'Yobbers aren't that dumb.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Whopkins has re-registered!

Popular BYOB poster "Whopkins" has come back under his original account name. Personally, I think this is a step in the rright direction for BYOB, because let's face it, love him or hate him, Whopkins is a definitively "BYOB" poster.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Ever have one of those days?

My capo is too loose on the second fret, so I have to stuff paper behind it. Thats what you get for buying a cheap capo (Norwegian Wood goons)
I was wondering how many crews there are in byob, and how many are there, but unnamed. I mean theres skype crew, which you can name down to a member. Then pogue crew which is all like a lump of jello. But then troll crew. Who was in it? Did it ever exist? Was it a term that was ever self applied, or merely a paranoid figment of the collective imagination of a minority with a persecution complex? dude.

Word out to Klem. Ctrl-F now ;)

Is BYOB even called byob anymore? Its not in the title. There's no banner. If someone bought an account tomorrow, and started posting in the blue forum, they would be all "why do they call it byob?" i mean, its our heritage.


I wonder what percentage of byobers smoke the ganja. And what percentage of those post while stoned. I think in 30 years our generation will look back on BYOB in the same way that Kerouac and the rest of the Beat generation look back and are associated with Greenwich Villiage,NY.
I mean, byob is full of poets of the new millenium.
Good (goon) threads are like constantly evolving, democratic poems.


BB King is the best guitarist

Engine Fortegue : More annoying than 1,000 Bicks.

If I had the power to permaban one person, it would be Engine Fortegue. The reason I would give for the leper's colony would be 'suicide', as I will be really really careful about not leaving any incriminating evidence near his lifeless spastic husk.

Let me introduce you to this terminally attention seeking faggot.

Engine Fortegue was first noticed as a BYOB poster when replying to forum poster settes' joke 'hey guys im cutting myself i might die bc of it (pics)' thread. Out of the blue, this shining example of rational thought offered to cut himself in return for an avatar certificate. Lovesauce took him up on the offer, telling Jordan that the cert would be his if he carved his username into his wasted flesh.

He complied, and the result can be seen to the right of this line of text --->

This mutilation was nothing compared to the obvious mutilation that he experienced upon his genitals, as further photographs displayed what can only be described as a bastardisation of the penis. Few expected this particular horror, and god only knows how this terrible accident occurred, but occur it did.

So there we have it. Engine Fortegue. The man, the poster, the biggest faggot to ever post on the somethingawful forums.

Please, for the love of God. Release him from his misery. Ban him, and never let him return.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Monthly Troll Crew Report

Good day gentlemen,
I am a longtime member of Troll Crew, in order to protect myself from being thrown out of the highly respected crew I have chosen to use a pseudonym for my posts on this blog. I assure you that I have great insight into Troll Crew matters. Let's start by taking a look at what's been going on this summer.

With many of the more prominent trolls gone on vacation it seems like the self-proclaimed leader of Troll Crew, Kauka, has chosen to spend his time building a database filled with quotes from the forums. The link to the database was given only to members of Troll Crew and it was believed to be just a rumour and not real until Marxux posted the link in a thread not too long ago.

Zuu took a small vacation from trolling and being generally grumpy during the summer. Allegedly he spent his time practicing his right indexfinger in order to become even better at firstposting.

Speth, now called Necrololicon, changed his postingstyle into a more pogue-like one. Increasing the level of LOTR-fiction integrated into his posts he has become an interesting mix between Russ, Oldschool Speth and a Faggot.

Occupy Japan, one of the funnier trolls in BYOB, became mod for a short while. After going insane with power and running several prominent glompers out of BYOB he was demodded and promptly stopped posting much like Shivadas did.

Karsten, nobody cares about you.

Marxux spent his summer doing even more drugs than usual. This gradually made him lose his mind and he recently autobanned.

That's all for now. Until next time, remember, better a troll in your forum than 10 glomps in your thread.

BYOB's Beloved Paterfamilias, Old Jeff, Vlogs It Up

What Generation gap? I had the exact same reäction to that video! Haha...


Sunday, August 26, 2007

bick meltdown

bick is having another meltdown. this time he claims areyouin has been trying to get him banned. bick is also really mad at shivadas and lets it show. this thread has already been gassed but it might be a good idea to read it and stay in the know.

UPDATE: ozma claims a glitch in the ban system caused her to ban bick but she then unbanned him.

ozma unban post

BYOB Blog Not Ruined

"Byob Blog is NOT ruined" say's forums poster and Byob Blog Contributer, "Karl Bartos".

"The fakeposting has gotten out of hand, thats for sure. I'm here to make sure that the genuine interest of the continuation of making our forum a safe place to hang out and fun place to socialize continues forward." He continue's; "Two steps forward, one step back is my motto. I know things seem vice versa in today's yob, but us posters out there who care about the well being and emotional vibe of the forum will continue to fight to ward off enemies".

Hello, I'm Karl Bartos. You may know me from my position as an "all the time" crew poster from the internets "byob". As many of you know I have always been a large supporter of the glomp crews, skype crews, and first name crews. I think they are wonderful devices that allow us to bond with each other from across the world in a fellowship that can't be found irl (in real life) though I view myself as an (I)Independent in the ever-shifting political climate of today's yob.
Unfortunately I have also tried my hand at fakeposting crews and troll crews as well. I got out fast. I didn't like the way it made me feel. The life of a fakeposter or troll is full of shame and fear. There is a void they try and fill with lies, deciet and well placed razzing (also known as "burns") of other forum's posters. Many of these people will try and wrangle in as many unknowning by standers into their web of lies. Make them believe the fantasy they have created. Making it so the victim invest's emotional energies as well as time into something that is based on false pretenses.
I am going to focus on fakeposters right now because that is the plague that I am trying to keep from striking byob blog, a so far safe haven for the formentioned crews and those who wish to remain recognized independently.
I have been a victim of fakeposting many times. I know how it feels when you realize you invested your heart and soul into someone you felt was genuine only to come to the realization it was all a dirty trick. I know the low places that can take you. At first I struck back by playing with the same fire that the fakeposters them selves are tormented with. It did the same to me. I felt it burn away at my soul, my goodness. I did not like it so i got out before it went to deep. Today I am an avid supporter of ridding Byob of all fakeposters and trolls. These crews or select individuals have no place in what should be a chill place to hang.
Some have cried out that "Byob Blog is ruined!" As the quotes of Karl Bartos, who is me, claim above this is not so. The fakeblogging may have already made it's way onto this board but that doesn't mean that it isn't too late to fight back. I plead to my fellow yobbers to do what you must to rid the forum and this board of fakeposters. It is spreading like wildfire and may seem cool or like it is the in thing. It is not. It is a plague on all forums. It only hurts people and has alreayd endangered this board from serving its main purpose of keeping detailed updates of interesting news and events that take place in the forum "byob". Let's try and keep it that way. I, for one, will fight! I will fight to make this the best blog about a forum on the net today. Fakeposting will take that away from us. It will tear us apart.

I have devised a short list to make sure you follow when determining a fakepost. This way you can out the faker and the post and the poster can be delt with accordingly.

*Consitency: does the post/blog remain consistent with previous blogs/posts by the user? you may have to watch over a prolonged period of time

*Sarcasm: become a sarcasm detective. Once you get a feel for it you will be able to spot most sarcasm

*History of fakeposting: does the user have a history of fakeposting? Yes, people can change like i did, but you still have to be careful for a long time. Fakepost relapse is not a requirement but it is REALITY

That is the starting guide to dectecting fake post/blogs and fake poster/bloggers. It isn't hard but sometimes it isnt easy. I hope all my fellow forums users who earnestly want to see an end to fakeposting, the fakeposting that has brought down byob and could endanger this SERIOUS (i cant stress this enough) SERIOUS blog, to come to and end.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Karl Bartos: Forum's poster / Blogger

Some Loser Makes Dumbass Blog Post

Look aT this dumbass shite:

Ehh. Stupid.

Baby Hobo "Ruined" BYOB Blog

Condemnation from his own mouth:

what a faggot.

New smiley....Russ isn't happy....

Byob legend Craig "Russ" Russel (not black -Ed) has expressed his distaste and confusion at the new ':rodimus:' emote in true Russ neo-fakeposting style. His thread title, using overblown and old fashioned comic book style language (*Gasp* etc.) profeesses his love of the new emoticon, which as we all know with Russ, means he hates it.
Here is the smiley in question. As best as I can make out it is merely a modification of the pedophile emote already in use, with the teddy bear replaced with an autobot (possibly Optimus Prime?-Ed) and the child is now holding money (shown by a line with a '$' at the end pointing at the green paper in his hand).

What does it mean? Perhaps Russ knows, but we're not holding our breath...

This is what I like to see...

Some people say a little effort and attention to detail can go a long way. I'm inclined to agree after this little post by Dwaggy. I don't know who made this image, or when, but the fact that someone took 2 minutes (or more?) out of their day to make that special effort for BYOB warms my cockles :)

I don't know about the thread, but 'da pogue crew' have certainly hijacked my heart :)

Oh yeah, my gramma called from Memphis this morning, i couldn't get rid of her, she says she has bunyons :-/

i guess she's jus lonely really

Just got back from BYOB...

Mood: Apathetic

Talk about a rough day, .....oh yeah, also something's been bugging me. With only one mod in charge part of me worries what kind of rule there can possibly be when CSA is offline. Don't get me wrong, he's doing a great job, but he's only got one brain, and one point of view on what byob is and where it's headed. He might make a decision about BYOB but thats just, like, his opinion, man. Meh... I guess it will all work out for the best.
Back to my rough day. I was yobbing away (in the parlance of our time) like there was no tomorrow, and I realised all the joy had gone out of it. I mean, a 3 page thread about how keytar players are gay? Seriously? Its just like the empty hole in my heart.
50 people have got stoned since I last checked the thread yesterday. Jesus guys, give it a rest.

And another thing, what happened to the HELP tag? I mean, its bright fucking yellow, it stands out, you'd think people would use it more! Then again, perhaps in today's byob staying under the radar is a wise thing to do. Stick your head over the top of that trench and WHAM. trolled.


Posting Styles #1 - Drawing Threads

Hello everyone, my name is "notagoon", you all probably know me as a frequent poster in BYOB. I'm happy to let you know that I've been accepted on to the staff of BYOB Blog, and I hope to be able to bring you many quality updates throughout my stay here.

With the introduction out of the way, it's time for the first edition of my column, "Posting Styles". Every once in a while (I haven't determined how long yet!) I'll be picking a trend in BYOB and doing a little analysis about it, and also maybe share my feelings on the subject. For my first update, I've picked the topic of "drawing threads".

For a long while now, I've noticed that the amount of drawing threads (threads where the OP promises to draw requests that are posted in the thread) has been alarmingly low! It seemed that one had to wait days, even over a week between these rare gems. But now, they are starting to pick back up in popularity, and personally I think that this is a very good thing! Drawing threads encourage creativity in the forums, as well as allowing the posters to help guide the content of a thread without having to go through the hassle of creating a new thread themselves. Also, I have a particularly vested interest in drawing threads, because I enjoy my large collection of BYOB-drawn happy black men eating ice cream (which can be found at if anyone is interested).

So BYOB, please consider posting a drawing thread, for the happiness of both the forums, and yourself.

mr.kips hates mudkips

apparently mr.kips really hates mudkips and wants everyone to know it. he has been trying to give himself a new image (man in suit with hat) and wants to get as far away from mudkips as possible. cooky puss tried to do something nice and draw a mudkip, not knowing how much mr.kips hates mudkips and was assaulted by mr.kips in return. shame on you mr.kips! this did happen a while ago but the thread is still going and i also wanted to point out that its a pretty decent thread with lots of cool pictures. it seems like it will probably end up in the goldmine soon.

Baby Hobo to begin blogging at the BYOB Blog!

Hey folks! It's me, Baby Hobo. This is my first time "blogging," as the kids are saying these days, but I've been a writer for a long time (too long!) for Proud Parakeet Magazine and Where Did I Leave My Keys Weekly. I'm hoping to bring to you, the Yobberinos, the most hard-hitting and behind-the-scenes reporting on all the action in Chillaxest forum on the Intarwebz!

So let's get started, shall we?

Asshat Supreme: No, let's not.

Shut up, Asshat! >=(

Don't mind him, folks! Anyways, where was I? Ah yes…

Some standout threads for the morning:

• "I'm really ashamed of my people sometimes" by Handre — Handre claims that he's sometimes ashamed of his "people" (South African whites) for the years of oppression, racism, and abuse perpetrated under Apartheid. An honest look at a tough situation from the recently unprobated 'Yob luminary.


"ruff is russ' dog" by Spaticus — Ruff is off to an auspicious start in the 'Yob, but who is he exactly? Spaticus has a theory that'll make you literally flip your lid! A must read.


• "itt we make turntabling noises" by Cooky Puss — Ever dreamt of making onomatopœic posts designed to be reminiscent of a turntable?

Asshat Supreme: No...?

Well, there's a thread where you can do it anyway. It's a wikki-wikki-wild time!


Well, folks, that's about it from me! Besides, it's my bedtime… I'd better climb into my cardboard crib and get some sleep.

For the BYOB Blog, this is Baby Hobo saying: "Chillax!"

BYOB Superstar "Samurai Paul" 'Loves' BYOB Blog!

In a post released earlier today, resident forum artist SamuraiPaul expressed his feelings about the 'blog. "I love this blog." he said, as he looked around the thread. We hope to catch up to him later and hear more of what he has to say.


Saturday, August 25, 2007

handre gets off early

looks like handre got off early. somebody did not agree with ahoc's decision. exilechamp on the other hand is still on probation.

BRACKING NEWZ: a horse of course demodded

Because of "stupid huge ass avatars". Will the horse be replaced?


Large Avatar Watch

Leningrad and now Planimal are sporting avatars that FLAGRANTLY flout the vertical dimension rules for avatars. See any more examples on non-mods? Tell us!

Bick Loves BYOB Blog

Bick's giant eyebrows let BYOB know late yesterday that he " just CANT stop reading it!!!"

It seems BYOB Blog is on its way to a Pulitzer!

bum the sad banned again

bum the sad was banned by csa today for his comments about the jews. apparently, csa decided to ban bum for his remarks. bum has a long probation and ban history and this was not really surprising.


She's Got Sauce Leads Anti-Russ Charge

Bad blood? Or just fakepost?


Russ claims "91 PMs Sent"

Russ jokingly claims this is because he was born in '91 (presumably meaning 1991)

Russ' Birthday Thread Goes As Planned

28 people chill.

(no gifs allowed)

Friday, August 24, 2007

russ sends birthday pm to byob posters

russ sent this birthday pm out to a number of byob posters. what could he have planned?

thread 2

exilechamp and handre both probated for a month

a horse of course decided that exilechamp and handre both needed a month long break from the forums for mod sass. exilechamp went down first with this post followed by handre with this post. handre's probation was due to him claiming that the probation of exilechamp was unfair.

bick continues to get assaulted in helldump

after a recent goof by bick, who accidentally posted a thread in helldump, there has been a 'we love you bick' thread in helldump that is still active.


whopkins voluntarily gets hit by a bus

the ban bus that is

calvin coolidge gets an unban whopkins post in right after


the byob blog

this is the byob blog. if you want to be a contributer send an email to and you might be added. you can always go by a different name on the blog if you do not want to go by your username

good contributers will get sa gift certs. if you are invited and spam the blog or post crap you will be removed.
Play Pokemon Games